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On Potty Training

Last Sunday, my almost-three-year-old Millie declared that she didn’t want to wear diapers anymore.

Yes, it has been time for potty training for awhile. I honestly think she was ready back in the summer of 2014 when she was about to be two, but we had a new baby set to come any minute and the doctor, my neighbor, everyone you meet says to not try potty training right before a huge life change like a new sibling. So diaper-wearing continued.

And… well, I wasn’t ready for potty training. As I do with many big changes in Millie’s life, I was overthinking the fuck out of it and how it would change our lives. No longer could we just go to a random park that didn’t have a potty and play for hours. Once we started the training, our lives would forever be beholden to her bladder and bowels. What about that wonderful pumpkin farm we love to go to every fall? They only have Portable potties and there is no way in HELL this public-bathroom-anxious-germaphobe was going to let her touch-everything toddler in a portable potty.

That’s why I love me some diapers.

But when Millie declared she was done with them, I had to embrace it, even though I hadn’t done any reading about how to do it and was not prepared with any information or gear or candy (for her) or wine (for me). We headed to Target to get cute new underpants (Elsa-themed, of course. Is there anywhere that isn’t covered in Elsa in our household right now? No.)

Monday morning she helped me throw away all the size 5 diapers (except for that giant unopened box I had… I told her I threw those away, but I put them in the Baby Gear Storage Closet for when Poppy chunks her way up to that size) and we never looked back.

I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of how we did it (I skimmed the Three Day Potty Training guide and loosely followed that), but there were some accidents, a whole lot of reward M&M’s, many minutes sitting in a bathroom singing songs and reading books and some nighttime pull-ups.

But what I will share with you is this surprising thing that nobody tells you about potty training your firstborn:

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